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Deviant Haiku Thread -- December 4, 2002 thru January 17, 2003

{DvT}Sapient6 japan writhes in pain
perfect meter, twisted verse
culture perverted
Fenris If Japan does writhe,
it comes from "Boong-ga" practice,
not sick poetry.
Fenris Do not operate
heavy machinery, eh?
We'll see about that.
Fenris I got arrested
for saying hi on the plane.
My friend's name is Jack.
Fenris Mountain Dew spewage
this shit tastes like penis juice
not that I would know.
Fenris Animal Crossing
people bury furniture
just like in real life.
Fenris OHHH, a HAM sandwich!
Don't give me that nasty look!
I thought you said, "hand"!
Fenris I cut the power
Now I hear some girl screaming
Get her off my knife
Fenris Calvin Klein models
run around in their undies
down in my basement.
Fenris No prostitution
if women would just wise up
and fuck us for free.
Fenris "Stupid or moron?"
Bush asked one of his helpers
"Which of them am I?"
Fenris Justin Timberlake
makes boyfriends really jealous
he boned Britney Spears
Fenris Aliens exist
They anal probe secretly
just like molestors.
Fenris I answer the phone
"What are you wearing?" I'm asked.
"My birthday suit, Mom."
Fenris My ex just left me,
but I still have her work number.
I faxed her the cat.
Fenris "How do you do, maam?"
"You can save on long distance."
"I'll rape you, you bitch."
Fenris found a baby's arm
at a car accident scene.
made it a butt plug.
Fenris I love you, grandma
would you like a cup of tea?
and some fire ants
Fenris Euro visitors
present at my company
bring dog food as snacks
Fenris Getting a blow job
I tell her a funny joke.
Cum shoots out her nose.
Fenris Gynecologists
are paid thousands for doing
what I do for free.
Fenris Lunch in a bucket.
"Hey! That slop is for the pigs!"
Shove it, you old bag.
{DvT}dagger I R not so gay
It only hurts when we play
I hate it up butt
Fenris That one really sucked.
Suess is rolling in his grave.
Do not post again.
Fenris leet speak was cool once
but now it is overused
8y 4nn0y1ng n008s
Fenris Watch the green grass grow
and the animals scurry
inbetween my toes.
Fenris Jack may be nimble,
but he's not quick in a chase
and I've got a gun.
Fenris Say, "prophylactic".
It is such a funny word
when your mouth is full.
Fenris Boning my sister
was not such a good idea.
I know where you live.
Fenris Violence in movies
remind me of that one time
I gunned down a cop.
Fenris Not enough haikus
You people must be braindead
Share your perversions
Fenris You Slartibartfast
A decrepit old has-been
Stick fjords up your ass
Fenris Bugs are not features!
Quit telling me otherwise.
I'm not a moron.
Fenris Drink lots of water
Go to the bathroom a lot
Better than coffee!
Fenris Fat chicks in Spandex
are a crime against nature.
Whales should wear condoms.
Fenris Party at your house!
You bring the snacks and soda
I'll bring the homos.
Fenris Fungus grows on me
My snow pants cling to my skin
Baths are for pussies
Fenris I worked in Auschwitz
until the chimney got clogged
I inhaled a Jew.
Fenris Hung with bungee cord
I thought the nigger would laugh
dashed on rocks instead
Fenris I am not racist
I believe all are equal
under the white fist
Fenris "You are perverted,
and terrible at foreplay,"
my mother told me.
Fenris Why is it funny
to make jokes about incest
when it feels so good?
Fenris He is such a clown!
That joke made me laugh so hard
I filled my diaper!
Fenris Five, seven, and five...
Who came up with that meter?
Figures it'd be Japs.
Fenris Philadelphia
"City of Brotherly Love"
Incestuous fags.
Fenris The dancing penis
makes every post funnier.
Dance for me, penis!
Fenris I have work to do,
my manager always say,
but what does he know?
Fenris Zit on my anus
It hurts when I take a dump
Will you pop it, please?
Fenris Hormone therapy
Grew me a pair of hooters
covered with chest hair.
{DvT}Sapient6 Lott forgot his hood
He left it on his pillow
While at Strom's birthday
{DvT}Sapient6 Charro Martin Short
Protecting Alameda
Life immitates crap
{DvT}Sapient6 Britney Spears in court
Suing monkeys for the jap
They didn't attack
{DvT}Sapient6 Be a patriot
Honor G.W.'s nose
By drinking your coke
{DvT}Sapient6 Snowballs from the fridge
From summer attic window
Pelt top down drivers
Fenris Worm in the butter
There is something disturbing
about finding half.
Fenris Pizza going down
tastes a hundred times better
than when it comes up.
Fenris Sex on a playground
must be done with speed and stealth.
Here comes her teacher.
Fenris Flambé my penis
Serve it to me for dinner
Sweet German sausage
{DvT}Sapient6 I asked her to dance
But rigor mortis set in
I fear it's too late
{DvT}Sapient6 Building sand castles
The sand was too dry to shape
Fixed with my friend's blood
August fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck you
Fenris It is sad to see
someone who can't even post
without saying "fuck".
Fenris My car is missing.
I think the police took it.
Trunk full of babies.
{DvT}farNorth My Trial Tonight
Some Lubrication Be Nice
Ass wont hurt so bad
{DvT}JonahHex Reckless tomorrow
night, the barbed wire dildo is
sharp; the lube won't help.
Fenris Those are very good,
though I am sensing a theme.
Deviant gang bang?
{DvT}Reckless Now I am frightened
My virgin sphincter screams out
Please mommy help me
{DvT}farNorth Look now what do see
Two more in clan DvT
World coming to end
Fenris That is not haiku.
The last line has seven words,
not five like it should.
{DvT}farNorth North cannot haiku
Banned from this thread from now on
Newbie branded be
{DvT}Reckless Farnorth hates haiku
Tell you man I am with you
Reckless hates haiku
Fenris Birds in my luggage.
"Anything else to declare?"
Monkeys in my pants.
Fenris Lesbos pay support.
Kids they can't have naturally
grow up real confused.
Fenris Ich spreche nicht Deutsches.
übersetze mit babelfish.
Werde verzögert.
{DvT}Sapient6 Reindeer in a pen
Smell worse than a monkey house
I pity Santa
{DvT}farNorth I Stand For Nothing
Not Crawling, Not Falling Down
I Bleed For No One
Fenris Plagiarize Mudvayne.
Did you think we wouldn't know?
You have shamed your clan.
Fenris Stocking is empty.
No presents under the tree.
Dad in the chimney.
Fenris Incompetant drones
never do what I tell them.
Can't get my work done.
Fenris My resolution
is to stop showing contempt
for those that I kill.
{DvT}farNorth Not a bad thing cuz
mudvayne ownz, therefore its more
of an ode to them
Fenris You quoted it twice,
passing it off as your own,
which just isn't cool.
Fenris Be original.
Anyone can quote others
and make it haiku.
{DvT}Sapient6 A gallon of milk
Fell through my windshield today
Thanks, I need bread too
{DvT}Sapient6 Thanks for the ice block
Now my wife needs a coffin
And I still need bread
{DvT}Sapient6 Violent snot blow
Canuck donkey rim-jobber
Blood flows gracefully
{DvT}Sapient6 Bitches shouldn't drive
I can smell her stench through steel
Shut your legs, you whore
{DvT}Sapient6 Her head in the bush
Just a tiny length of spine
Makes a neat handle
Fenris Out to take a dump,
I squat in the ambushes,
head 'lion' there now.
Fenris Neighbors are demons.
Especially the toddler.
I must kill them all.
Fenris Indian money
being held by government.
Need more casinos.
Fenris I love my mama.
A bit of her inside me.
It's some of her heart.
Fenris Sex on the school bus.
Kids punished for their actions.
Suck off gym teacher.
Fenris Max Factor grandson
hiding from his rape trial,
disguised as a girl.
{DvT}Sapient6 Somali children
Like bags of crap on doorsteps
Litter our airports
{DvT}Sapient6 This drinking contest
Easily settled with knives
I win: you're dead drunk
{DvT}Sapient6 Lint betwixt my toes
Noble in it's warm repose
Up my nose it goes
{DvT}Sapient6 Gracefully she walked
Unaware of her mistake:
Skirt tucked into hose
{DvT}Sapient6 She should have died here
After there would have been time
For just such a word
{DvT}Sapient6 Extra "o" in "lose"
Like your extra chromisome
Online mouth breather


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